Isn't it amazing how all of a sudden your life just takes a full turn? That's how I felt when I finally became a mom. I knew ever since I was young that I wanted to be a mother someday. It was my dream to have a happy family. I didn't know what exactly it meant nor what work it entails but I just knew in my heart that I was destined to be a mom. So you could just imagine how happy I was when I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I decided to start a family a few years after our marriage so we can exhaust what we wanted to do and also enjoy each other's company- just the two of us.
I am now a mom of a 3 month old baby and I cannot be any prouder. She is everything to me. Needless to say, my world revolves around her. And literally, everyday revolves around her and I am not complaining.
Now my day is all about taking care of her and everything else takes a backseat. I'm very hands on with her. In fact we don't have a yaya or a helper. I try to make sure that I give her whatever she needs and makes sure that everything is perfect. I guess being an O.C. mom, it's really hard for me to entrust my baby to anyone else. She's a good baby and I love her unconditionally.
It's not all fun and laughter, motherhood is hard. I don't get to do much especially when she's active and she stays awake most of the day. She wants attention- a lot of it. My husband, on the other hand, needs to go to work so it really is just me and my baby. As you may have noticed, I don't get to blog all the time. I usually just eat 2x a day- that's brunch (being around 1-2pm) and dinner. And since we don't have a helper, I still have to alot some time to cook. So I would usually just eat oatmeal or cereal in the morning and just cook dinner. I don't get to play with makeup as much as I used to. Apparently I'm almost always at home which means not wearing any trace of makeup. I can't go out without her. I am exclusively breastfeeding and I try to nurse her as much as I can. I don't get to rest anymore. There are days when I feel like 24 hours isn't enough because I want to accomplish so much yet I have to prioritize being a mother first. But like what I said, I'm not complaining. I knew that this would happen and I guess I prepared myself for it.
Even though it's tough and tiring, each time I see her smile, it melts my heart. She is so pretty and she's gotten a lot bigger. I always remember bringing her home the first time and holding her arms and legs and saying to myself "one day, these will be bigger and fatter" and it did- I did it. Nonetheless, I know I make mistakes and I do feel guilty each time. But I know that I'm trying. Doing my very best to be a good mom.
Currently I have already gone out 2x without her, leaving her with my family to take care of her for a couple of hours. I'm also now open to receiving makeup work again. There's still a lot of adjustments especially in my schedule, but I know everything will fall into place. And at the end of the day, she makes me proud and I make myself proud. I am proud to say that I am doing it!
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